In a week, my husband and I will be celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary. Marriage has been such a gift and I’m so grateful for it. I thank Jesus constantly for my husband and I will never take him for granted. However, contrary to what the media shows in rom coms and Disney movies, having a healthy marriage and loving your spouse is not always easy and seamless. Receiving marriage advice from other well-seasoned married couples was detrimental to the foundation of our marriage.
Whether you’re looking forward to marrying one day or have been married for decades, I believe you’ll find these 8 pieces of marriage advice valuable to having a healthy marriage no matter the stage you’re in.
Marriage Advice to Live By for a Happy, Healthy Marriage
1. You Will Learn and Grow Over Time
It’s a common misconception to go into marriage feeling like you already know each other so well and can face anything that comes your way. I know I felt that way when I got married at the ripe old age of 23.
While it’s good to feel strong and confident in your love for each other, every married couple has room for growth and learning as you face new circumstances together. Don’t feel like you need to have it all together.
You will learn from mistakes and change the way you do things over time. You might even benefit from marriage counseling as you come across issues you may not have foreseen in your marriage. It’s all a healthy and natural process of learning to live and do life with someone else after many years of living life solo.
2. Learn from Well-Seasoned Married Couples
Couples who’ve been married for decades and are still in a loving, healthy marriage probably have some valuable advice as to how they’ve made it happen. Living with the same person for many years and going through major life moments and crisis together can’t be a walk in the park. Take marriage advice from people who have made it through the years together and are still in a healthy, loving relationship. I’m sure they know a thing or two about how to make your marriage go the distance.
3. Love is NOT just a Feeling
Ever heard of the “honeymoon phase”? You most likely have. That’s because most couples go through a phase where they are basically infatuated with the other person. True love is a lot stronger than feelings of infatuation. Love means caring for the other person and putting them first when you don’t feel like it. It means wanting what’s best for them no matter what.
As 1 Corinthians 13 says, Love is patient, kind, trusting, protecting, hopeful, truthful, persevering, is not proud, self-seeking, or easily angered, and doesn’t envy, boast, put others down, want the worst for others, or hold grudges. If you have a love like that for your spouse, it definitely isn’t reliant on feelings.
4. Laughter is Imperative in a Happy, Healthy Marriage
I can’t tell you how many times laughter has been the most welcome intrusion to a stressful evening or long exhausting day. When you can laugh with your spouse and joke together, it’s the best! It relieves stress and is a fun way to bond together. I mean, who doesn’t love to laugh?! So make sure you have someone you can laugh with for the rest of your life. Laughter is the best medicine.
5. You are on the Same Team
One of the best pieces of marriage advice I’ve ever received is to remember that you are on the same team, always. Often times, marriage can feel like a competition of who did what and who is doing a better job at XYZ. It’s so easy to have that mindset but it’s important to remember that you’re on the same team and need to fight to keep it that way.
6. Be Quick to Ask for Forgiveness
You’ll mess up often in marriage. You’ll be far from perfect. So be ready to ask forgiveness often and be okay with it. Asking for forgiveness requires an attitude of humbleness which is imperative in a marriage. Nobody wants to be married to someone who is prideful and can’t admit when they’re wrong. The quicker you are to admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness, the better.
7. Trust and Honesty is None Negotiable
A healthy marriage must have trust. Trust comes from honesty no matter what, with the big and little things. When trust is broken, it seeps into all areas of your marriage. If trust has been broken in your marriage, I recommend reading this article for healing and restoring trust.
8. If You Are a Christian, Seek God Daily Through Prayer and Reading His Word
Many of the BEST pieces of marriage advice actually come from the Bible! God gave us the Bible to help us learn about Him and become more like Him. We can also grow in our relationship with Him through prayer and communication. When we become more like Christ, we are able to love others better, especially our spouse.
When we follow His will for our lives and how to act, we can expect to have healthy, loving relationships, including with our spouse. We definitely won’t be perfect, but over time, as we allow God to change us and become more like Him, we will be better at loving our spouses the way God intended us to.
What Valuable Marriage Lessons Have You Learned over the Years of Being Married?
Now it’s your turn! What valuable marriage advice have you learned, either from couples who are married or from your own experience being married? Share them in a comment below, or share with me what you found helpful from this blog post that you’ll apply to your own marriage.
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